Sexuality Happens

As you may remember, earlier this year, I reviewed the Ophoria Beyond 1 vibrator/dildo like toy. I liked it, but I had some problems with it, most notably that while I love love loved the shape of it, when I was using it either on myself or a partner, the bloody thing would go slipping and sliding. Any lube (which I put down as a must have) made it impossible to grip.

And so, I am excited to tell you that I have now gotten to try the Ophoia Beyond 3 Dildo, which is pretty much exactly the same shape, just without the vibrations. And guess what? It ROCKS. I love that it has a little loop/handle like thing at the end…it doesn’t matter how ridiculously lubricated my fingers get — I can still hold on to it like a bucking bronco.

My Beyond 3 was red. Beautiful. The options for this dildo? Red and black, my two favorite colors, making it hard to decide. It was so nice not to have to choose between pink and “whatever the other option” is. Thanks Ophoria for providing diversity in dildo colors!

The shape of the toy, as mentioned before? AWESOME. I love using it on myself, and when I use it on my partner, I can angle it so that not only is it penetrative, but that it hits alllll the good bits on the way out. Score.

I like the matte silicone (similar to what Fun Factory uses, although not exactly the same), as with lube, it doesn’t drag, but isn’t toooo slick, like I’ve had in some toys. The handle is beyond brilliant, although I wish they’d made it just slightly bigger, in order for me to be able to fit two fingers. One and a half just does not cut it.

Like all Ophoria toys, it’s 100% medical grade silicone. You know the drill; soap and water by day, 10% bleach/dishwasher/3-5 minutes in boiling water to sterilize it. Keep it away from other silicone (toys and lubes). Take good care of it, and it’ll take good care of you…oh will it.

Not my absolute favorite dildo (not harness compatible) or g-spot toy, but definitely makes the top five list for each. Four strong stars, that may eventually lean towards being five as I get to use it more and more. Bonus points for gift-friendly packaging.

Want your own? Click here to get a Beyond 3 Dildo for yourself (or lover!)

-Essin’ Em

I love love love sex toys made out of various materials.  I own wood, glass, steel, ceramic, aluminum, granite, silicone and more. I’m still lusting after marble (if you want to help me out here, drop me a line and we’ll talk).  Ergo, I was quite excited when one of the sex toy companies I review for offered to give me a new ceramic dildo to test out.

This toy (the Lovemoiselle Aveline) is geared towards G-spot stimulation and exploration, or so it says.  Because it’s ceramic, it IS sterilizable, meaning you can boil it (3-5 minutes), dishwash it (top shelf, no soap) or wipe it down with a 10% bleach solution in order to share it.  Otherwise, soap and warm water will do fine.  As a note, I believe this product is hollow, unlike the other ceramic dildo I have…I’m not sure if that changes how you clean it in general. I just popped out the seal at the bottom, and boiled the ceramic part.  Why it is hollow, I have no idea, but I don’t like it.  It’s not as safe, in my mind, as a solid ceramic piece.

I enlisted Q to help me on reviewing this one. When we started dating/fucking, she only like soft (read: silicone) toys.  Since then, her favorite toy has become the Tantus Motion, and she also really loves a G-spot geared glass toy we have. Ergo, I thought she’d be the perfect candidate.

Verdict? She does in face like this toy, but not nearly as much as the glass or Tantus one. She didn’t seem to like the feeling of the material as much, both of us were annoyed by how light it was (compared to other ceramic toys, as well as glass and metal), and the curve didn’t fit either of us just right.  That said, it’s still a pretty good toy. If you don’t like a LOT of curve in your G-spot toys, this might be a happy medium between a super curved one and a straight one.  Also, I’ve met a lot of people that DON’T like the weight that is present in most ceramic, glass and metal toys. Because it’s hollow, this toy is in face much lighter, so that make work perfectly for anyone looking for something more…feathery light. It IS a nice dildo.

It is a very pretty toy (glad mine was blue and not pink!), and could totally be left out as an artistic piece.  We like it, but not enough to keep it in the night stand.  However, it does make the FYN Toy Case, and has not yet been shunted to the FYN Rolling Toy Trunk. 3.5 stars, out of 5.

Click here to get your own beautiful, ceramic dildo.

-Essin’ Em

This is the G-Pop.  After more than 3 years of reviewing (and 6 years of trying out) various sex toys, I can in fact honestly say that I have truly never seen anything like it. Period.

I mean, I’ve seen crops that look like lollipops. And lollipops that look like they shoul be inserted (but really shouldn’t be, because that’s just asking for a yeast infection). But in all my sexplorations, I have never seen a dildo that looks like this. A lollipop for your G-Spot.

Right. It’s a long metal rod, with a giant (it comes in three diameters; 1.5″, 2″ and 2.38″) steel ball on the end. Yup.

That’s the G-Pop.

I got the 1.5″ in red. You can also get it in pink or silver (the ball – all the rods are silver with a black handle).  It doesn’t look that big, but it was a little tight going into the cunt.

Q did NOT like it.  When I oh so sexily tried to slide (or rather, POP) it into her, she gave me a look. Once inside, I tried doing fun and exciting things with it. She was very much NOT impressed. I tried more things.  Wiggling it, fucking her with it, bopping with it. Nada. She put it very politely when she said “I’m sure SOME women would like the sensation of this…but not me.”  However, I enjoyed using it as percussive toy, and used it to gently beat her ass and chest.

So I figured I’d try it. I like g-spot stimulation, and can even squirt/ejaculate (edit: I can pretty much only squirt/ejaculate with her – it’s an unstoppable force of nature). In it went – pop. It felt a bit uncomfortable going in (and keep in mind, I put fists in my cunt), but once inside me, it felt to be a good size.

Squeezing my kegel muscles around it felt good. I grabbed the rod and moved it to and fro, in and out. Over all, it felt fairly good…some angles were definitely better than others. As a warning, be careful with the speed and intensity – it’s a pretty heavy steel ball in your cunt, and too hard or fast kind of hurts.

When I had the right angle, it definitely stimulated my g-spot. In fact, it’s the closest I’ve ever come to having Q’s hand in me (which, trust me, is a VERY good thing).  More over, after I played with it, Q fucked me, and I ejaculated a RIDICULOUS amount (soaked through multi layers of towels) which Q says is in the top 3 amounts of fluid…ever. Ergo, I think the g-pop does a great job of stimulating the g-spot…in people who like that kind of stimulation. I don’t know if I could really use it to get off (although possibly with a lot of foreplay, and no one watching), but it was a fun pre-fucking kind of toy.  I like the 1.5″ – you’d have to hav a fairly large cunt to fit those much bigger…especially since metal isn’t squishable like hands and silicone. Just a thought.

I’d actually give it 4 stars (out of 5). I was way more impressed than I thought I’d be, and definitely more than Q. It’s a different, creative, and pretty toy, and one that gives my g-spot a very lovely massage. I’d recommend it for anyone who loves g-spot stimulation!

Click here to get a 1.5″ G-Pop

Click here to get a 2″ G-Pop

Click here to get a 2.38″ G-Pop

-Essin’ Em

4 comments

I can’t remember I time when I didn’t want a Feeldoe…and once they came out with a BLACK feeldoe (the feeldoe stout), I wanted one SOOOO bad. It was big, in my colors (black/red) and I wanted one.  Lucky for me, Vibe Review was kind enough to send me one.

Now, I’ve also been fortunate enough to try the Share (by Fun Factory), which has really grown on me, and the Nexus Sr, by Vixen Creations, which I’m ambivalent about.

The Feeldoe comes in 3 different sizes; slim, regular, and stout…and of course, these sizes are color coded.  I like bigger things in my cunt, and I like black best (above blue and purple), so it happened to work out very well that the Stout Feeldoe (the biggest one) was the black one.

I was excited to finally try it, and brought it to Phoenix with Q for our trip.  Saturday night, we had a romantic-ish evening, hoped into bed with vampire gloves, a knife, some lube, and the Feeldoe. I was ready.

Until we tried it out. Dear god, it was epic fail.  We tried the small end in me, big end in her, me on top. Then me on bottom.  Then we reversed it, with her holding the bulb like end in her cunt, and trying to fuck me…in like 5 different positions. Negatory commander.

It would pop out. It wouldn’t go in the other way. My cunt muscles would pull it out of her. You name it, we had the problem. Plus, while the length looked fine regularly, once you realize how far it need to go, plus my (or her) stomach area, you only actually get 2-3 inches inside you. Which was not doing it for you. 

I tried holding onto it and fucking her with it, but she looked at me like I was crazy. We gave up, throwing it aside for my fingers. Later on, she did parade around the hotel room holding it as a gun and making “pew pew”and “bang bang” noise, which at the very least did afford me some entertainment. 

I thought it might be just us, so I twittered about it. Here were my responses:

*gothicat@EssinEm it doesn’t stay in because I get too wet plus my tummy gets in the way so no not really

*cjducky@EssinEm ive read that same thing on alot of reviews.

*sexisfuncoochie@EssinEm I love mine though it does take some practice. And acceptance that it may pop out & I’ll grab it to finish the job!

*BackseatBoohoo @EssinEm Heard the same from plenty of people: good concept, but it just doesn’t work in practice.

*margaret1978@essinem I do not. It doesn’t fit me right inside and does not feel like it is secure. I never use it.

*wilhelminawang@EssinEm it’s an interesting and admirable concept… but it actually doesn’t work all that well

Basically, if you HAVE to wear it in a harness (as AAG suggested), just get a dildo you really like. Otherwise, try the Share – I LOVE it! The Feeldoe gets 2 out of 5 stars.

To get your own Feeldoe, click here. If you’re like me, and prefer the Share, click here.

-Essin’ Em

If you haven’t heard, Smitten Kitten is a sex-positive toy store in Minneapolis, Minnesota. It’s pretty freaking wonderful, what with body friendly toys, great (and accurate) information about many facets of sexuality (in addition to wonder in-depth info on sex toys in general), and more.  Actually, they also run CATT – Coalition Against Toxic Toys, a non-profit created to “help combat the lack of accurate, honest information in the sex toy industry. The mission is to demystify the adult sex toy industry and positively transform socially irresponsible, environmentally and personally hazardous sex toy manufacturing and sex toy sales practices. You can learn more about CATT at BadVibes.Org.“

Anyways, Smitten Kitten was kind enough to send me a Jollies Original…now, this is a toy I’ve been interested in for a while. They were kind enough to offer me a choice of colors, and of course I chose “licorice” which is a black that is infused with golden shimmer, that only shows up in certain light. I will say there is some awesome color selection for this particular dildo.  

This dildo is made by Jollies, a body-friendly sex toy company who uses all 100% medical grade silicone. They’re also the ones who designed the Mr. Man blow job dildo, which I reviewed last fall. Oddly enough, this toy is molded from a real vagina…which is interesting, cool, weird and well…odd.

I’ve heard REALLY good and REALLY bad things about this toy from a variety of people. Which makes sense….because while YES, it IS molded from A vagina, not everyone’s vaginas are the same shape/size/fit, etc. So yes, some people will love this toy, and some people will be like WTF, this is not at all right for my vagina.  I’ve also heard from a lot of people that they didn’t like the hardness of this silicone compared to the silicone used by other dildo companies.

Firstly, luckily enough, the Jollies Original did fit my cunt fairly well, not perfectly, but certainly well. It also fit Q’s cunt quite comfortably, so at least we got that problem out of the way. The harder silicone was definately a different feel to get used to…not bad per se, but not amazingly wonderful…just. Well. Different.

Now, it has, as you can see, a finger handle that sits right up on the clit. Supposedly, you can use the handle to fuck yourself, or fuck your partner with it, but honestly, this dildo seems to be more the vaginal equivalent of a butt plug, a cunt plug if you will. Once in, it pretty much stays in. This is from the girl who enjoys a good punch fucking with a fist, so I feel that way I say it doesn’t really work so well to move it in and out, I have a solid background for saying that.

It does feel good inside, and you can definitely use the Hitachi on it to transmit some vibration to both your cunt and your clit. However, I like a lot of clitoral vibration, and it’s really incredibly hard (impossible at times) to put the Hitachi on my clit, what with that little handle like thing getting in my way.  So it feels good, very good, but I can’t come from it.

However, I’ve found that AFTER I’ve been fucked and have come the way(s) I like, it feels extremely nice to have inside of me, letting my cunt clamp down around it. It’s also fun for foreplay – putting it in and wearing it around (or while I’m getting my breasts, nipples, thighs, hips, etc played with), and then taking it out for the sex I want to have in order to get off.

So yes, it’s a good toy, but not if you’re looking for something to get you off easily. It’s more of a fun, enjoy the sensation, get in touch with your body kind of toy.

Thanks Smitten Kitten!

Get your own Jollies Original, or another toy at Smitten Kitten.

-Essin’ Em

It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No no, it’s a Bandito, only the baddest ass villain of a dildo on this side of the Mississippi (sorry, spending too much time at Casa Bonita).

I’m starting to really freaking love the dildos from Fun Factory.  I mean, the Curve dildo is fucking brilliant, and the Bandito, while not *quite* as amazing, is still pretty fucking fabulous. 

Firstly, while there is also a color selection (such as lavender), it comes in BLACK. That’s right. Matte (ie, not shiny) black. Which is wunderbar – my sex toy collection tries to be all black/red/leopard print (with a hint of white), but sadly, as I add dildos, there are now a lot of purple and blue shades.  However, this black dildo fits in perfectly in my cases, sex toy trunk, etc. It looks hot.  It also looks really hot sliding in and out of my partner.

I used this on Q as I teased her with my fingers in her and on her clit, and then slowly slid the Bandito into her.  As she gasped while I slid it in and out of her, my fingers let up for a moment, as I replaced them with the Hitachi.  She told me, between deeper breathes, as she gasped, that she really like the texture was it rubbed up against the side of her cunt.  

It was a whole different experience for us, because it was the first time I used a dildo on her with my hands, rather than strapping it on.  The base was perfect for holding (and it didn’t cramp up my hand, so I think it would also be really good for someone that may have arthritis or chronic pain).  It also fits fine in a harness, but the base is kind of thick. This isn’t good or bad per se – people have what they like, and if you like thick, it’s nice. If you don’t, it can be annoying.

Then she came really hard on the Bandito, and me. Yeah. She said she liked it a lot.

I was pretty impressed. The design is fun, and I personally like the internal stimulation that the swirls provide to my cunt. It’s 100% silicone (and I do like the Matte finish that Fun Factory toys tend to have), so you can boil it/bleach it with 10% bleach solution/dishwash it on top shelf with no soap in order to sterilize it and share it.  I’d give it FOUR STARS out of Five.

Want to get your own bad ass Bandito? Click here!

-Essin’ Em

This is the Purr Dildo.  Why it’s called the Purr and not something like Corrugated or Bumpy Ride, I’m not sure.  It’s not fuzzy, nor does it have cute little cat ears…I guess it’s maybe called that because it’s supposed to make the user(s) purr when used on them?

I have a fair amount of dildos. I mean, I’m not like queen of them or anything, but I’m rocking (if you count double ended dildos) a dozen or more silicone ones (again, not counting wood, marble, ceramic, steel, glass, etc). I’ve even tried (and still own, in some cases) a variety of dildos from Tantus (who makes the Purr), including Buzz 1, the Niagara and the Goddess.

I like Tantus toys in general. They’re high quality, well made, and you know they’ll last. Like all 100% medical grade silicone toys, you can either just clean them, or sterilize them by a) boiling them for 3 minutes, b) running them on the dishwasher on the top shelf with no soap, or c) wiping them down with a 10% bleach solution.  Ergo, they’re all great for sharing.  I also like that the majority of their toys (including all the ones I’ve tried) have a bullet vibe for the base. This is always a nice bonus, although sometimes annoying when used in a harness, as they occasionally turn on and off as you fuck.

Another thing the Purr has in common with other Tantus dildos I’ve tried is that the base, while officially “harness/strap-on compatible” is really small. Like, depending on your harness and O-ring choices, can possibly pull out of the harness in the middle of sex.  Which can be awkward…and yes, I know I’m awkward, but that’s just like extreme and preventable awkwardness. Forethought on your sex toys is always important.

And now to the specific Purr.  It’s a good dildo for solo play…I wasn’t sure how I was going to like the texture that reminded me of a cross between your average play thing and the inside of a soup can.  Regardless, it worked. It worked very well.  I played with it both with and without the vibe, and I cannot tell a lie; the ridges feel NOICE (that’s nice, with a heavy emphasis, for those who missed it).  Especially while doing kegels. Mmmm.  It’s also great for fucking other people while holding it, and then asking them to tighten their PC muscles as you fuck them.

It’s a pretty good size that most people will like, although of course size queens and those looking for a small toy might feel a bit left out.  It only comes in purple (edit: I’ve only ever seen it in purple – anyone find other colors?), which means that those who like black/vanilla/chocolate/caramel colored toys are out of luck.  

All and all, a great toy for solo play, and also for non-harness partner play. The ridges really are lovely, as unsure as I was about them in advance. I’d give it 3 stars for partner play over all (including harness stuff), and 4 for solo play/as a dildo.  Definitely work checking out, especially if you want a good quality silicone dildo for a decent price.

Click here to get your own Purr dildo and to purr to your heart’s content.

-Essin’ Em

I’d been craving the Curve Dildo for a really long time. I really wanted to check it out for myself, because I’d heard both really positive and really negative reviews about it. Some people said the curve of well…the Curve, was a little to severe for them. Others said it matched up with their G-spot pretty much perfectly.

Luckily for me, SexToy.com (purveyor of fabulous sex toys) was kind enough to send me one for a test ride (I’ll be reviewing for them fairly regularly now too, so tell them thank you!). It arrived in the mail, and like all Fun Factory products, it came classily packaged (the box is reusable), and with water based lube (trial size). Of course, I opened it right away, and headed to the bedroom.

I LOVE g-spot stimulation, and this toy provided plenty, and provided it perfectly. I can’t imagine anyone saying that the curve wasn’t absolutely amazing…but then again, cunts are all different. However, the Curve was obviously designed specifically for mine, and felt freaking fantabulous inside me. I added the Hitachi Magic Wand, and voila! I came in two minutes, tops. Which for me, is insane. The Curve hit my g-spot perfectly, and between that resting inside of me, and the Hitachi on my clit, I simply can’t imagine not coming over and over again with it.

It’s made out of silicone, so of course it is phthalate free, and can be dishwashed (top shelf, no soap), boiled or wiped down with a 10% bleach solution in order to be sterilized and shared.

I’m not sure how well this would work with a partner…it’s not harness compatible, and I personally preferred just letting the Curve sit inside me as I took care of business, and don’t think I’d really like to get fucked with it.

Regardless, this is an amazing dildo for solo sex (and you might like it with a partner…it’s just not my preference). I’d recommend it. Of course, mine was purple, but they also make it in pink, if that’s your cuppa tea. Wanna get your own? Just click here to become the proud owner of your very own Curve dildo!

-Essin’ Em

Here is another fancy schmancy and lovely toy furnished to me by the amazing Babeland. This fabulous dildo (I have the midnight purple colored one) is known as the Buzz 1, and I have to say, it was pretty nice.

I tried it out with F, who was actually quite excited to give this one a go.  We haven’t had her strapped on and fucking me with a dildo with a vibe in its base yet, so it was something new and different, and something we definitely wanted to try.

It is 100% silicone (which means that when you pop the bullet out, you can dishwash it top shelf no soap, boil it, or wipe it down with a 10% bleach solution).  If you need help on getting the bullet in or out, please check out my ridiculously hilarious, year old, and poor quality video on doing it (this was out first vblog, my apologies).  The bullet was easy – it comes with batteries – you just have to unscrew it and pull the little plastic tab out, and then put it back together before putting it into the dildo.

We placed it into the harness, and I strapped F into it.  Have I mentioned how hot she looks in a dildo? If I haven’t, she looks incredibly fucking hot.  Just FYI. Once strapped on and adjusted, we covered the dildo and my cunt with water based lube. Water based is very important because silicone can do horrible things to your silicone toy.  

Slowly, she slid it into me.  I had thought it might be a little too small, and when she was first in me, I thought I was right. However, once she started thrusting into me, the head of Buzz 1 was rubbing my G-spot in all the right ways (and felt especially amazing in the “doggy style” position – it really is quite well designed). And because it was not as big, she could fuck me harder and faster with it than I’ve been able to do with some other toys, like the Raquel (which I love, but is a little long for hard fucking).

After she fucked me for a while, I decided to give her a blow job as she lay on her back.  The blow job part was fabulous – the dildo was the perfect size. However, the problem we’d been having as she fucked me remained.  The damn vibe had a mind of its own. It kept turning on and off. When it was on, it felt great inside me, but because of the button on the base, it turned on and off as she fucked me.  Ditto with me giving her a hand job and going down on her – when I was pressing it against her, it was on, and she was bucking into me. Then on the outstroke, it would shut off.  Which I found really frustrating…she seemed to find it amusing (but if she hadn’t been able to come because of it, I bet it wouldn’t have been so funny).

Her complaint was that while she liked the stiffness of the silicone for controlling it (she thought the Raquel was too soft at times), she said that the next day, her mons and lips were a little sore from the base pressing into her so hard as she fucked me. I told her that was a hazard of fucking me so hard (oh, tear), but she may have a point. On the receiving end, I like the feel of both types of silicone, so I am a happy camper either way.

While the bullet vibe was annoying and frustrating, it was also pretty awesome when it worked.  I like the color, the shape, the harness compatibility, etc.  So I’d give this baby 4 stars out of 5….great first timers dildo, and fun to use on your own, or with a partner…by hand, or in a harness.

To get your very own Buzz 1 to play with, by yourself or with someone, click here.

-Essin’ Em

As we all know, I super duper so much love and heart Lelo toys.  Everything they make is bloody freaking amazing. My second favorite (and favorite non-hitachi) vibrator is the Gigi, by Lelo. Lelo is, hands down, the most awesome vibrator maker, as a whole, ever. Period.

All their vibrators are rechargeable, which is awesome, convenient, and very earth friendly. They also use plastic and pure silicone, so everything they make is phthalate-free.  Basically, they rock.  And then they decided to rock even more, and offered to let me try ANY TOY I WANTED.

Well. I had the Gigi, and the Liv, and the Lily.  What more could I possibly want?

Answer? Ella.  I was ready to start a little love affair with this beauty.

She’s solid black, and as most of you are aware, I think black sex toys are pretty much the sexiest things ever. I have a black lily, a black granite dildo, black and red flogger, and the list goes on.  But this is a beautiful matte silicone, unlike any other dildo I’ve ever tried.  It’s also shaped just like the Gigi, which you may remember is pretty much the most amazing shape in regards to my vagina. It makes me make ridiculous noises I have never made before.

So I was sooooo excited to try it out. It came…but sadly, I didn’t, because as soon as I got it, I got really sick.  I took it into the shower to try out at one point, but then got distracted by a certain person (but it is water proof – obviously).

FINALLY, I got to try it out.  Remember, it IS silicone, so no silicone lube, but anything water based will do quite well. 

I busted out (as always) the Hitachi.  I hadn’t had sex in a whole week, and I hadn’t really masturbated (minus a quicky while falling asleep last week) in 3 or 4 weeks. I was so freaking ready for this.

The shape, just like the Gigi, was perfect. It may seem a little small to some people, but no. Really. The shape is like “hello, I am hooked up with a GPS system for the sole purpose of finding your G-Spot” – and then does so.  G-spot, meet Ella. Ella, g-spot.  Have a lovely time!

I came in less than two minutes. And then again in another 3. And then again. And again. Between the Hitachi and Ella, I could have probably come over and over and over all afternoon.  Sadly (for my vagina, but happily for me), I was headed out to meet L, so I had to get dressed and head out…otherwise, I probably would have come about 3 million more times.  And that’s not an exaggeration or anything.

My only beef with it? It isn’t harness compatible – I wish it was, because can you IMAGINE what it would feel like to have someone pressed against you, fucking you with Ella. Maybe it’s better that this isn’t possible.  I might just die of pleasure from that.  I really love this toy.  So much, it might become a permanent fixture in my nightstand drawer. And that, my friends, is saying a lot.

Want your own Ella to be your personal pleasure object?  Learn more at Lelo.com, or buy your own by clicking here!

-Essin’ Em