Sexuality Happens

Hey everyone!

Many people have ask me for suggestions for great ideas/suggestions for sexy gifts to friends, family and loved ones this holiday season. Here are some of my favorites that I recommend to you.

I’ve really gotten into sensual massage with soy wax massage candles. I particularly LOVE the Jimmy Jane Afterglow massage candles or Afterglow Sampler Set. Babeland also offer the candle together with the stone massager as a perfect massage kit:

Then of course, there is my all time favorite bedroom accessory, the Fascinator Throe by Liberator. This is a beautiful blanket (lots of color and pattern option) that is soft on one side, smooth on the other…and has a waterproof layer in the middle. What does this mean? Ejaculation, lube, food, sweat, wax, etc doesn’t make it through to your sheets/carpet/couch/wherever you have sex. And then it’s washable and tumble try. FREAKING BRILLIANT! I also love my Liberator Scoop as far as sex furniture goes.

Let’s talk vibrators. I love the Hitachi Magic Wand for people who like power, the Fun Factory Layaspot for first time vibrator users and/or people who want to share, the Lelo Gigi and the JeJoue G-Ki for perfect G-spot stimulation, the Lelo Ina for a rabbit style toy, and the Lelo Siri for a rechargeable clitoral vibe.

For dildos, I think the Tantus Vamp is still pretty popular, what with Twilight coming out. Anything by Vixen Creations is great, but I know that the HUGE Outlaw will be respected by some while other prefer the pretty sparkles of the Champlette. I know that the Njoy Eleven is sure on my holiday wish list! Anyone want to get it for me? And don’t forget to add in a super comfy harness like the Spareparts Joque to help your gift-ee strap it on!

Looking for someone who is in to anal? A Crystal Delights Plug to help them bling their bottom will be appreciated, as would any of the very many Njoy line of butt toys (Fun wand is great for anal AND g-spot). Just starting out? Try the Fun Factory Flexi Felix beads or the Ryder butt plug by Tantus.

For the penis possesser on your list, the Fleshlight is a must have for every penis. Does your lover/friend like prostate stimulation? Aneros prostate stimulator is a GREAT toy for the backdoor.. Don’t forget fabulous cock rings like those by Lelo Tor and the C-Ring from Tantus!

Don’t forget to add lube to all toy gifts! Water based lube is compatible with everything; I recommend Sliquid Organics or Pink Water for everything, but Maximus is PERFECT for anal, fisting, jacking off and more. If you’re not playing with toys, get your lover/friend/family member some silicone lube; Pjur Bodyglide and Gun Oil are the best! As far as stimulation gels, Sliquid’s Stimulation O Gel is my favorite!

Gifting to someone on the kinkier side? Try a nice set of restraints, a flogger color coordinated to their other toys, or maybe a sassy paddle to get them going. Stockroom is the place to go for all your kinky gift needs!

Have a nerdy type on your list? How about Ceiling Cat boyshorts, or even “I Can Haz Buttsecks” panties?

Want to help someone help themselves? I’d suggest a book or DVD.

Opening Up is wonderful for people looking at consensual non-monogamy.

The Guide to Getting It On is the end all, be all, general overview of all types of sexuality book.

I <3 Female Orgasm is a great gift for college age women looking to explore a bit of female orgasm.

Rope books like Midori’s Guide to Japanese Rope Bondage or Two Knotty Boys Show You The Ropes are fabulous as well.

Looking for porn? Try anything from Reel Queer Productions, or Heartcore Productions. Want something for someone who spends lots of time online? How about a membership to the Crash Pad Series or Good Dyke Porn? As far as educational stuff goes, Tristan Taormino makes a bunch of awesome sex ed guides that have info AND hot sex scenes!

Hope this has helped! Sexy and sensual gifts are almost always welcome, so it’s hard to go wrong, especially when you shop the retailers I’ve linked to. I’m also happy to recommend based on individual circumstances. Just email me at essinem at gmail dot com!

-Essin’ Em

From 8am MST to Midnight MST TOMORROW (November 20th), every single item on the Fascinations site (Funlove.com) is 25% off. A One Day Sale for sex toys, lubes, romance gifts, books, DVD, lingerie and more!

What does this mean?

25% off the Njoy Eleven!

25% off all the lube you can use!

25% off educational DVDs!

25% off erotica AND sex ed books!

25% off bath/body gift baskets and the Kama Sutra Collection!

25% off sexy lingerie!

25% off ceiling cat panties!

How can you argue with this? Go forth! Enjoy! And don’t forget upcoming holidays, birthdays, etc — this is the time to stock up! Head on over to Fascinations, November 20th ONLY for the One Day Sale!

The middle of this month celebrates my FOURTH year of blogging about sex, sexuality, erotica, gender, identity, nudity, rights, politics, sex toys, silly things, my relationships, sex tips, others’ relationships, and more. Yes, the Sex Blogger Calendar says three- that’s a mistake. It’s been four full years folks.

And what better way to celebrate than with some EPIC giveaways…and I’m talking EPIC. I’ve gotten almost a twenty companies that I’ve worked with over the past four years (or am working with now/in the near future) to donate items for this contest, and from porn to sex toys to accessories, I promise that these prizes are AWESOME!

What can you win?

We start with a gift from HotMoviesForHer.com, a female-run porn site that was the start of my career in the more “adult” industry. What are they offering? TWO 100 minutes packages of porn. That’s a LOT of minutes of porn!

Fascinations, who employes me as their residential sex educator, has been kind enough to offer up a $100 gift card, which is enough to get either a Pure Wand…or a Lelo Siri…or a whole bunch of other awesome sex toys!

Pink and White, whom I love dearly, is offering a Two Month, Level Two memberships to CrashPadSeries.com (I’m on it!) and a Two Months, Level One membership to their new gay boy site, HeavenlySpire.com.

NoFauxxx, the awesome queer porn company run by Courtney Trouble, is putting up a FULL YEAR’s membership to NoFauxxx.com. I’m also on here!

Babeland, one of the first sex positive toys stores and educational places is offering a Mini Morgasm kit — complete with their new book Moregasm, as well as a Fukoku vibrator, a massage candle, Babelicious lube and a Sonic cock ring!

Crystal Delights, creators of those beautiful new crystal plugs (and so to be released wands) is giving me a beautiful Champange crystal butt plug for this!

Good Vibrations, a feminist and sex positive store with shops in CA and MA, and a sex toy website, is donating not one, not two, but THREE rabbit pearl vibrators (made of vinyl)!

NippleCharms.com is offering ONE set off non-piercing needed Nipple Rings, as well as TWO stick on Bindi Charms.

Trannywood Pictures, hot guy on guy porn (with both cis and trans men) is giving away a copy of their BRAND NEW film, Trannywood Gone Wild!

MyPleasure.com is offering up a beautiful vibrator from the Vida line; the Lussuria. It’s supposed to be pretty awesome!

SexToy.com and the lovely Domina Doll are putting together a special giveaway pack for this contest. I have no idea what is inside, but I know it’ll be awesome!

Liberator, the make of amazing sex furniture is thowing a Jaz into the ring. Heck, *I* don’t even have one of these!

More porn from Early to Bed – a rocking feminist sex toy store in Chicago! They’re giving away Special Delivery, a locally made dyke porno…I want to see it!

Also donating a set of rocking Nipple Clamps is the fabulous feminist store Our Enigma in Salem, Oregon!

We’ve got a lovely donation from the Kama Sutra Closet, who is kind enough to provide a Shiri Zinn RED Ceramic dildo to give away! 

Can’t leave out one of my favorite toy makers, the wonderful Vixen Creations. They’ve offered up TWO TOYS! One Caramel Tex and one Purple Johnny. Hurray!

Aloha from Maui Kink, who as graciously given me 3 Toy Bag Guides (Playing with Taboo by Mollena Williams, Clips and Clamps by Jack Rinella and Canes and Caning by Janet Hardy) AND 2 x 15ft lengths of Natural Hemp Rope with Shears

This just in: Lelo is putting in a pair of their silky and smooth Etherea Cuffs, from their brand new accessories line!

Another last minute addition! Stockroom, that fabulous kink site, has thrown a pair of cuffs, and a beautiful flogger into the ring!

Another set of awesome items is dontated from Je Joue — a Sasi and a G-Ki! Each of these vibrators is amazing!

Instead of choosing just one winner for all of this, or trying to make packages, etc, I’m going to just use the random number generator to choose a winner for each item. If someone enters a lot in various ways, they may win multiple items. This way, I can pass on the sex-tastic love to as many people as possible! So there could be 20 winners, or even more!

How do you enter? The contest goes through October 31st (11:59pm PDT). There are lots and lots of ways to enter! For each entry, please post a comment below with a link to it (or your twitter name, FB name, FetLife name, etc), as I’ll be using a random generator to choose the winners. If you already follow/friend/fan me, just post below a comment with the name you use. Free shipping is included for  US winners only (obviously a moot point for the porn memberships/minutes) — international shipping must be paid by the winner.

1. MANDATORY: Please comment here with the top three items above that you’d like to win most! (1 Entry)

2. Become an Essin’ Em fan on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/EssinEm. (1 Entry)

3. Comment on my Essin’ Em fan page. (1 entry per day)

4. Follow me on Twitter. (1 entry)

5. Tweet about this contest on twitter — must include my @ name and a link here. (1 entry per day)

6. Friend me on FetLife. (1 entry)

7. Update your status on FetLife with a link to this page. (1 entry per day)

8. Write a blog post about this contest (5 entries, only one per person).

9. Visit the above sponsors’ sites and tell me what your favorite thing that they sell (besides what they’re giving away) is. (1 entry per sponsor, total).

10. Donate to my paypal, buy me something off my amazon wishlist, send me a present, etc (15 entries, and my eternal gratitude).

Contest begins now, so get started, and don’t forget, there are so many ways to enter, so get going!

-Essin’ Em

As you may remember, earlier this year, I reviewed the Ophoria Beyond 1 vibrator/dildo like toy. I liked it, but I had some problems with it, most notably that while I love love loved the shape of it, when I was using it either on myself or a partner, the bloody thing would go slipping and sliding. Any lube (which I put down as a must have) made it impossible to grip.

And so, I am excited to tell you that I have now gotten to try the Ophoia Beyond 3 Dildo, which is pretty much exactly the same shape, just without the vibrations. And guess what? It ROCKS. I love that it has a little loop/handle like thing at the end…it doesn’t matter how ridiculously lubricated my fingers get — I can still hold on to it like a bucking bronco.

My Beyond 3 was red. Beautiful. The options for this dildo? Red and black, my two favorite colors, making it hard to decide. It was so nice not to have to choose between pink and “whatever the other option” is. Thanks Ophoria for providing diversity in dildo colors!

The shape of the toy, as mentioned before? AWESOME. I love using it on myself, and when I use it on my partner, I can angle it so that not only is it penetrative, but that it hits alllll the good bits on the way out. Score.

I like the matte silicone (similar to what Fun Factory uses, although not exactly the same), as with lube, it doesn’t drag, but isn’t toooo slick, like I’ve had in some toys. The handle is beyond brilliant, although I wish they’d made it just slightly bigger, in order for me to be able to fit two fingers. One and a half just does not cut it.

Like all Ophoria toys, it’s 100% medical grade silicone. You know the drill; soap and water by day, 10% bleach/dishwasher/3-5 minutes in boiling water to sterilize it. Keep it away from other silicone (toys and lubes). Take good care of it, and it’ll take good care of you…oh will it.

Not my absolute favorite dildo (not harness compatible) or g-spot toy, but definitely makes the top five list for each. Four strong stars, that may eventually lean towards being five as I get to use it more and more. Bonus points for gift-friendly packaging.

Want your own? Click here to get a Beyond 3 Dildo for yourself (or lover!)

-Essin’ Em

Hey all. Here is a fancy schmancy, middle of the week review of a sex toy; the Je Joue G-Ki. As with all my video reviews, thanks to Matt (the video rockstar) and to Fascinations.

So, as you’ve gather, behold before you a review of the Je Joue G-Ki. What is it? It’s the fairly new and very cool G-spot vibrator/dildo. Get this; it actually has two awesome joints that bend and flex, making it simpler for you to make this toy fit your body, and your G-spot, the way that works for you. Another bonus? This is a reachargeable toy, which gets mucho points from my side of the court. This is not just because I love the earth, but also I hate having to deal with batteries, etc.

Interested at all? Look at the video review to get a better idea about the and watch how it works, as well as hear my thoughts the G-Ki, and other G-spot superheros, like the Lelo Gigi. I do like this toy, although I think I’d recommend the Gigi first, as that’s my all time favorite G-spot rockstar.

Again, I give my thanks to Fascinations! Enjoy the video and the review, and please especially enjouy all the fun and awkward noises I make to describe the vibrations patterns… Click here to get your very own G-Ki!

-Shanna

Click to play

What do we have here? Its a vibrator that is a little different than what you’d expect. It’s a vibrator that is a little off the beaten path. No, it’s not Jaws vibrator, and an Abominable Snowman vibe. It’s just not quite your run of the mill vibrator.

What makes this vibe so incredibly different? Well how about that it is made of ice. Yep, you heard me, MADE OF ICE. Is that not cool or crazy or ridiculous or awesome or all the the aforementioned? What toy is this that I’m talking about? Why, its the Ice Vibe by Touche. The body of the toy is 100% medical grade silicone, the freezing cup is plastic, it comes with a little traditional bullet vibrator, and of  course, the actual part that winds up vibrating  is made of ice. I think this is the perfect toy to use in the summer to cool down when your love life is getting a bit heated up. I put more thoughts into the video about the ice vibe. Check out my video review.

As usual, a big thank you to Fascinations for the toy in exchange for a review, as well as video guy Matt who made the awesome video. The video is a bit old, but is never seen before, and now that it’s summer, what better time to share the Ice Vibe with you, right?

-Essin’ Em

I’ve been back in Arizona for the past few days, and it is exceedingly hard not to fall into a depression. Why? Because of my time in Colorado. I had a taste of my friends, my chosen family, the thunder storms, the vegan seitan wings, the green trees and mass of parks, the light rail, the laid back attitude, all of the things I love. And then, I had it taken away.

Arizona has my job, which I love. I love Fascinations, and my co-workers are awesome. I like our condo that we’re renting. We have made a few friends out here that we really enjoy. I am trying my hardest to find things to do and people to spend time with here, but it’s so hard to go somewhere that just *feels* 100% like I’m home…and then leave.

When I’m in Denver, I have less migraines. I feel less stress, less anxiety. When I start feeling anxious, I just spend some time looking at the beautiful Rocky Mountains, and I can literally feel my body and mind relax. It’s this amazing feeling that I’ve never been able to replicate (although I got close when I lived in Germany). It’s so calming, just to lean up against a tree full of green, starting at the mountains, take in a deep breath, and just live and enjoy it.

When we were there, people from all different communities we’ve been a part of told us how much they wanted us back. Kinksters, queers, friends, former co-workers, former cohorts, musicians, family, you name it; everyone we met (even our favorite waitress at one of our favorite restaurants) told us how much they would like us to come home, home meaning Colorado. It’s so heartening knowing how much we are missed, how much people want us back. Hell, even my orthopedic surgeon told me how much he missed seeing me on a regular basis.

On the contrary, when we were gone, no one from Arizona told us we were missed. No one took the time to fetlife, or facebook, or just text and say “hey, I know you’re in CO, but we’re looking forward to having you back.” We have one set of friends that helped me to find an emergency room when I got back, but that was it. There is no sense of love, caring, friendship or community here. We still feel predominantly like interlopers, annoying people into tolerating us.

Within a year or two, we hope to make it back to Colorado.  Q can’t leave her job just quite yet, as she’s making huge strides in the LGBTQ community, rights, conversation, etc on that campus.  My work has agreed when I moved to transfer me, which is great, since I love it. It’s just so hard to have to wait. To visit, and have that feeling of community, have that feeling of love from others, of the calmness of nature…and then to have to leave it.

Colorado, my heart still belongs to you,

-Essin’ Em

Are you in the Denver Metro Area? Would you like to hear me talk about full spectrum sexuality and sensational sex toys? I’ll be speaking at the Fascinations in Arvada, CO tomorrow night at 7pm.  It is free to all attendees, and every one who sits through the class will get a $10 gift card, as well as refreshments and an entry in a raffle.

Sexuality is so much more than just sex acts, than identity, than why lube is love. It is all these things combined and so much more, and I hope to help you expand your knowlege of sexuality, and of course, what sex toys are designed for, which ones are body safe, and so much more.

Hope to see you there!

-Essin’ Em

I leave tonight, heading to Denver, Colorado for a good week and a half. trainings

It’s a busy week; I have a bridesmaid lunch, an orthopedic surgeon’s appointment, a wedding rehearsal dinner, my best friend’s wedding, fondue with Q and my mother, getting a new tattoo on my calf (and Q is getting a new one on her forearm), having dinner and lunches with lots of friends, speaking at the LGBT Center’s Womyn’s circle, holding two employee for Fascinations, teaching a class at SKALES,  visiting all 5 Denver area stores, holding a free workshop on full spectrum sexuality at the Arvada store on Thursday night, meeting with an event director at a hotel to talk about possible wedding plans, and then, a whole weekend at Thunder in the Mountains before heading back to the heat of Arizona.

Looking forward to being home for so long, because Denver still remains home to me in my heart, and Q’s as well. We’ve both been feeling pretty home sick lately. I’ll miss our kitties of course; that’s always the hardest part.

I’ll have internet on and off, but if I’m slow in replying to comments, emails, tweets, etc, please excuse my delay. And if you’re local in Denver, I’d love to see you at one of my classes/workshops/seminars, really!

-Essin’ Em

Hey you…yes you!

This Thursday night in Phoenix, I’m teaching a NEW sexuality workshop. It’s called Anal 101: What’s Up with the Butt? You’ll learn the ins and outs (pun intended) of anal sex, lubes to use, how to have it more safely, how to make it not hurt, new ways to enjoy it and more.

Like all Let’s Talk Sex Events, it’s 100% free, and each attendee gets a $10 gift card good in store or on FunLove.com. 18+ only. Click the flier for more info.

-Essin’ Em