What is a Sex Blogger?
Somehow, I am always grouped as a sex blogger…but as many of you have probably noticed, I honestly don’t blog about sex that much. I mean, yes, I do talk about toys sometimes, or how sex is or isn’t affecting my relationship…but I as of the last year or so, I haven’t written/published as much erotica, I haven’t shared very much of my sex life, haven’t posted any nude pictures. There are many many many reasons for each of these decisions, but regardless, these topics are no longer part of my posting.
So am I still a sex blogger? I mean, I’m writing about queer weddings and relationship drama and letters to people throughout my life. Is sex and sexuality a part of it? Oh yes. But I feel like I’ve become more a life style blogger, perhaps a relationships blogger, I don’t even know.
Ergo, my question to you; what defines a sex blogger? Is it sex toy reviews? Is it erotic stories of past times? Is it deep conversation into gender identify and presentation? How does one know if they are or aren’t part of this whole “sex blogger” community?
And with that said…where do I fit?
-Essin’ Em
2 comments
Dear Sex Toy Companies Social Media People…
This is a letter I wrote back yesterday to a company that I had never before heard from, who wanted me to put up a graphic above vibrator use (explaining men’s sex toy use versus women’s sex toy use…with blue and pink “men” and “women”) along with a link to their site. In fact, they were even so kind to include the code to their site, so it would be that much easier for me to link to them and provide content for my users create better, free SEO for them.
I’m not going to link to them, because that’s what they wanted in the first place. However, this is not the first company I’ve had beef with. Here are a few thoughts, all based on real letters I’ve gotten.
*If you post a ridiculous comment on my blog that doesn’t make sense, just to get your link in the comment/on my page, I WILL delete it.
*When you email me asking to set up a phone call with your CEO, please explain exactly what you’d like us to talk about. I’m oh so easily confused by lack of information.
*I do not do link exchanges. I have that all over my site. If you’d like to advertise, I have a page with all the info. Or email, and ask for the info. This is not some recently started blogspot site — this is part of my livelihood.
*It’s ok to ask for a deal on long term ads. It is not ok to try and cut my offer in half, or even more. I will refuse you. I work with other bloggers, and when one of us agrees to ridiculous ad terms, it hurts us all.
*I am not an idiot. Telling me that a link on your site, which has a way worse Alexa and PR rating than mine, will improve my traffic and make me famous, is bullshit. And just because you send me the code doesn’t mean I’ll link to you, like a little sheep.
*Asking me to re-review a toy I already own and link it to your page is ridiculous.
*Asking me to make up a review of a toy I don’t have and link it to your site is un-ethical and ridiculous.
*Asking me to join an affiliate program that has a video that won’t shut up, and graphics of huge dollar signs (ala the 80s and 90s) is silly. Continuing to bug me about it after I’ve politely decline is just plain rude and stupid.
*Please don’t offer me crappy ass jelly toys. I understand if you can’t offer Vixen or Lelo, especially if you don’t know me/my reviews yet. However, if I tell you I only review glass/silicone/medical grade plastic/metal/ceramic/wood toys, and you offer me a butterfly kiss or something similar, it means you’re not listening. Grrr.
*Complimenting my video reviews, and saying you’d love to work with me doing more reviews, videoed classes, etc, is sweet. Then telling me that you’d charge me to do so, while you made the money off of them, is just rude, ridiculous, and pisses me the fuck off.
*It’s ok if you want to advertise and haven’t read my blog. However, regardless of why you’re emailing me, don’t tell me you love my blog if you don’t, or that you’ve read it if you haven’t. Telling me that my blog would be a good match with an all gay male site is pretty silly, and shows me you haven’t read my stuff. Same goes for his and her pheremones, sex supplements, etc. It just makes you look like an idiot.
Summation: I’m not an idiot. Please don’t think you can fool me into posting your link, or bargain me down to a ridiculous price for advertising, or into paying you for services that I’m usually the one getting paid for, or into thinking that you actually know who I am/are a reader of my blog. I’d rather you just deal with me respectufully and business like. Otherwise, you get a snippy email and a big ol’ delete. Unless you really piss me off, and then I warn other bloggers about you.
The end.
-Essin’ Em
2 commentsSex Toy Review: Jimmy Jane Form 2
As you may remember, I have very good things to say about the Jimmy Jane Form 6 (review), and I had high hopes for the Jimmy Jane Form 2. I mean, I loved the Jimmy Jane Massage Stone (review), as well as their absolutely amazing Jimmy Jane Afterglow Massage Candles (review).
We got this in pink, because that is what we were given (thanks for the toy Jimmy Jane!). However, it also comes in a sexy slate black, as pictured above. Obviously, Q and I prefer the back, but a toy is a toy.
I was a little nervous going in, having read Epiphora’s post on the Form 2 Fail, and having heard many stories from various people about how their Form 2s seemed to eventually get a mind of their own. I was determined to give it a good chance, as I love the Jimmy Jane brand. We plugged it in, it charged well, and we took with with us to the hotel.
In the hotel, it was amazing. Q loved it. It had a different type of vibration them I’m used to. Is it powerful? Oh yes, very much so. But because of the shape, it more hugs the sides of the clit then doing a direct simulation of it (which I tend to prefer, as I am very much a Hitachi Girl). Q preferred that, because the Hitachi is often a bit too much for her (which is sad, because I love the Hitachi). We tried to replicate the issues that Epiphora had, but weren’t able to do so, making me think that maybe hers had been a fluke.
And then, Q used it while I was gone at AASECT. And when I came back, she told me the sad truth; it had started changing vibration randomly on her. Depending on the angle and the pressure, the vibration and type would suddenly change, and then go back, and then change again, and that is was incredibly frustrating. I’ve talked to other Form 2 owners, and have heard similar things from them, as well as from one woman who told me hers sometimes makes a screaming like noise as it changes vibration levels.
And if that wasn’t sad enough, we’re having a hell of a time recharging it. The cord doesn’t stay in the charge pad, and then when we force it in and are able to get it to stay, it’s so touchy to get it to charge. It has to stay exactly right on the pad to charge, otherwise, no light, no go.
It says it can be submerged, but we haven’t even gotten there yet, due to the issues. It IS, fabulously enough, made of 100% medical grade silicone (so body friendly and phthalate free), and can be sterilized with 10% bleach solution.
I love Jimmy Jane, but I think the Form 2 might need a little more refining before it’s as awesome as the Form 6. Make your own choices, but I feel the Form 6 is a much better option right now.
-Essin’ Em
Click here to get your own Form 2, or try your hand at a sexy Form 6.
2 commentsPleasurists #71
Welcome to Pleasurists, a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. For updates and information follow our RSS Feed and Twitter.
Did you miss Pleasurists #70? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #72? Be sure to read our submission guidelines and then use our submission form and submit it before Sunday March 21st at 11:59pm PDT.
Want to win some swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.
- March O’ the Cocks Contest Deadline: March 31st @ Midnight Pacific.
- Blog Anniversary Contest Deadline: March 31st.
- Jessie’s I Dare You Spring Giveaway Deadline: March 31st @ Midnight.
- Win a Green Ophoria V Ring Deadline: March 31st.
- Adult Easter Egg Hunt! Deadline: April 2nd @ 11am Central.
- Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving Deadline: April 3rd @ 11:59pm Eastern.
- A Wee Honey of a Dipper Deadline: April 4th.
- Contest! Deadline: April 24th @ 11:59pm.
Looking for sexy posts other than reviews?
Editor’s Pick
- Rascal the Baller by Wilhelmina Wang
Imagine my shock when I got it in the mail and realized it was FUCKING GINORMOUS: this Rascal is a whopping 17.5″ x 2.5″.
Moral of the story: don’t order a toy without carefully checking the specs.
Meanwhile, I was stuck with the damn thing and had to do something with it in order to write a review. The question was, what?
Editor
On to the reviews…
Vibrators
- Cal Exotics Couture Masseur by Kaijah
- Evolved Fleur de Lis Pure by la petite
- Voila by True Pleasures
- We-Vibe II by EffinSara
- Kokeshi Girl Doll by Mistress Kay
- 7 Function Remote Bullet by Sammi
- Remote Vibe Panty by Garnet Joyce
- High Roller by Jon’s Babydoll
- Fukuoku 9000 by Sexorcism
- Bondage Duckie by ThePinkPoppet
Dildos
- Topsy Turvy by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
- Topco Buster by EffinSara
- Vixen Astrovibe by Epiphora
- Whipspider Rubberworks Jellyfish by Carrie Ann
- Buster by Darling Dove
- Dai-Do #1 by Carrie Ann
Anal Toys
Toys for Cocks
Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.
- Kama Sutra Love Essentials Gift Set by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
- Little Genie Delicious Kisses by Rayne
- Wet Together by Wilhelmina Wang
- Touché Ice Vibe Freezable Lube (Vanilla) by True Pleasures
- Touché Ice Vibe Freezable Lube (Chocolate) by True Pleasures
- Touché Ice Vibe Freezable Lube (Mint) by True Pleasures
- Touché Ice Freezable Lube (Orange) by True Pleasures
BDSM/Fetish
- Ruff Doggie Styles Cat Oh Nine Tails by Rayne
- Spartacus Silicone Removable Small Ball Gag by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
- Whipper Tickler by Mistress Kay
Adult Books/Games
Adult Movies & Porn
- Bound by Mistress Kay
- Seven Minutes in Heaven by Essin’ Em
- PrincessKali.com by Bad Bad Girl
- Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Advanced Fellatio by Epiphora
- This Ain’t Saved By the Bell XXX by J.D. Bauchery
- Snake Bondage for Lesbian SM by FrzKey
- Zack Cook Massaged by The Porn Librarian
- Bottoms Up Orgasms by J.D. Bauchery
- Alone with the Enemy by FrzKey
Lingerie
Storage
Miscellaneous
- Clone-A-Willy Kit by Mistress Kay
- Clone-A-Willy Kit by Dani Darling
- Clone-A-Willy Kit by Hubman
- Nipple Chain with Bells by True Pleasures
- Tribal Design Back/Belly Chain with Sapphire Colored Stone by True Pleasures
- Pleasure Me Purse Kit by Jessie Beth
- Kegel 8 Exercise Cones by Joanna Cake
Sex Toy Review: Crystal Delights Plug
A few weeks ago, a new company called Virtually Adult contacted me about reviewing their new product; the Crystal Delights Butt Plugs.
Now, as many of you know, I’m not the biggest lover of butt play. Will I try it more in the future? Perhaps. But is it something that really gets my engine revving? No.
However, these toys are just absolutely beautiful; 100% pure glass plugs with little jewels (available in NINE different colors) on the end. Talk about bling for your butt. How could I say no to this? Plus, so many of my readers ask me about reviewing more anal pleasure toys, because they like a little backdoor action, and would like to see reviews of toys that can help.
So I got smart. Like so many Americans, I outsourced. But instead of going out of the country, I recruited my friends to help me (there will be a silicone butt plug review coming up in the near future too!) review good quality anal products so that I can provide a greater diversity of product reviews on my site AND help out smaller, newer companies like Virtually Adult.
Glass is a great material that can be washed or sterilized (10% bleach solution on this; I wouldn’t boil it or dishwash it because of the jewel), and can be used with either silicone or water based lube.
Therefore, without any further ado, I give you a review of the Crystal Delights Glass Butt Plug in Fuschia by M and her partner T. Thank for the help you two, and I hope y’all appreciate my new butt play reviews.
-Essin’ Em
My partner and I were both really excited to review the Crystal Delight Anal Plug by Virtually Adult thanks to Essin’ Em. The toy came in a plain black pouch, but was much prettier than the protective packaging that holds it with its jeweled, flared base, and clear glass. It looks fairly simple, yet eye catching none the less.
E-Lust #5
HNT Courtesy of Sexy Sadie
Welcome to e[lust] - your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #6? Start with the rules, check out the schedule in the site’s sidebar and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!
♦ This Week’s Top Three Posts ♦
Late Arrival: An Airport Encounter - I saw a possible haven ahead: a pilot disappearing into the pilots’ lounge. I could think of nowhere else that would offer us even a modicum of privacy. Time to brazen it out. With her still walking obediently alongside, I pushed my way into the lounge.
The Condom Question. Confession #397 – Luckily, this time I had my wits about me enough to reply with a categorical, Yes a condom is absolutely necessary, darlin, but history has proven that, while I’m naked and horny, I can offer no more justification as to why such protection is paramount.
No more… - “I’m so sorry, I can’t…”. Words, words, so many words… reasons and reasoning and things and stuff and none of it made sense, and through all of it, disbelief, dread, a sickness of heart… I couldn’t quite believe what I was hearing.
◊ e[lust] Editress ◊
Sex as a Panacea - As I begged “faster” “harder” “more!” I felt my orgasm come on, a mere minute or two after we began with this combination. A thunderous orgasm overtook me as he kept up with the dildo and I with the Climax for the first big wave.
♦ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ♦
Bad Girl – I take off my coat and stand proudly before her in my black lace corset, suspenders, stockings and heels. She looks me up and down and smiles at me when she catches my stare. Desire is already zinging through my body.
See also: Pleasurists #59 and #60 for all your sex toy review needs
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!
Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships
Domestic Violence on MTV’s ‘Teen Mom’
Insecurity, You can Kiss My Ass
Nothing is perfect, which is why there is communication
The Condom Question. Confession #397
Erotic Writing
Late Arrival: An Airport Encounter
The Erotic Touch of a Stranger
Kink & Fetish
Caning in the snow at New Year
September 2010: A Slave’s Initiation
“You’re a good little fuck toy”
News, Interviews, Politics & Humor
No commentsE-Lust #4
HNT Courtesy of Molls (via Eat The Cake NYC)
Welcome to e[lust] - your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #5? Start with the rules, check out the schedule in the site’s sidebar and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!
♦ This Week’s Top Three Posts ♦
Interrogation - I looked up at him, feigning cluelessness. “I know you can understand me. So I ask you again. Where are the lenses?” Another strike. I crumpled into the bench.
Reconciling the Identities of Feminist & Butch Top - There’s something supposedly anti-feminist about wanting to dominate. There’s something in the feminist rhetoric which says we are all equal especially in bed, so that means I-do-you-you-do-me….
Fire and Ice – The rain comes down harder around us, the freezing drop pelting whatever skin lies exposed over the surface of the water.
◊ e[lust] Editress ◊
By the Twinkling Lights… - His lips found my nipples and I forgot about the cold. If a car were to drive by and the passengers were to look past the twinkling lights on the tree, they would have seen a naked woman’s rear end pressed against the glass wall..
♦ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ♦
Ronjazz: Late Night Rendezvous - Meet me in the parking lot at the post with the broken lamp. 10PM sharp! Do not be late! Stand facing the post, eyes closed. Wear a flimsy dress and heels – nothing else!
See also: Pleasurists #58 and #59 for all your sex toy review needs
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!
Erotic Writing
The Slut Chronicles #10 ~ The Interview
Today’s Specials: Orgasms, Wet Panties, and Margaritas
Kink & Fetish
My very first experience of BDSM
Play Piercing? Seriously? Why?!?
Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships
Ask The Negress: Privacy & Perversion.
Gyne-Vestiphobia: Fear of Women’s Clothing
On My Experience With Sex Toys
Riding The Crimson Wave – Having Sex On Your Period
The Gangbang as Social Commentary
TPE (Total Power Exchange): A Novice’s Perspective
Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor
E-Lust #3
HNT Courtesy of 13Messages
Welcome to e[lust] - your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in the next edition? Start with the rules, check out the schedule in the site’s sidebar and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!
♦ This Week’s Top Three Posts ♦
Presence – I wish that you would look at me now. I am willing you to look at me now, over her body, rocking with the motion of her mouth. But you do not.
Restraint – “Do you like what you see?” the blonde asks. “Are you excited by what’s before you?” the redhead enquires. He nods.
What Not to Fetishwear – DON’T wear a PVC sleeveless vest if you fall into the rotund category. You will look like a bowling ball. With chubby arms.
◊ e[lust] Editress ◊
Fucking for Art – The proximity of their nakedness and my scrutiny resulted in this beautiful agony of arousal for them both. I asked if they would feel comfortable doing some poses of vaginal penetration for me, and they readily agreed.
♦ Featured Post ♦
The Naked Truth – He didn’t just write a pretty story we could act out, he worked hard to delicately lay us out on the page together, as we are.
See also: Pleasurists #56 and #57 for all your sex toy review needs
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!
Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor
Propaganda Sucks in All Directions
Which Reindeer Sex Style Are You?
Five Tuesday: 2010 AVN Award Nominees
Kink & Fetish
Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships
Wife Unsure About Sex With Others
Are You Just Kinky or Is It a Lifestyle
Erotic Writing
Daydreams & Distractions Droit de Cuissage
Sex Toy Review: Simply Blown Ruby Glass Dildo
I like glass dildos a lot. I mean, granted, I like sex toys a lot…but ones with different materials (steel, aluminum, ceramic, wood, marble, etc) really get my engine going. Silcone, yeah, it’s pretty fucking fantabulous, but the amazing temperature play of cold glass sliding into your cunt, which subsequently warms it up until it’s almost hot…it’s pretty unbeatable.
Ergo, you can imagine how excited I was when I was told to look over all the new Simply Blown glass toys and pick one to review. I chose the ruby spiral (medium) because I liked the look of the texture, and because I am shocked to admit that until this point, I have no owned a red dildo (*gasp!*).
When it showed up, it was BEAUTIFUL. The way that the red glass was placed inside the clear, I felt a momentary concern that it was hollow (think I’m crazy? Turns out some of the Don Wands glass dildos are, in fact, hollow! Scary, huh?), but after examining it, and especially feeling how heavy it was (it’s definitely got some weight on it), I was not longer concerned. It is, without a doubt, a beautiful and extremely well made piece of glass, and like many of my toys, I plan on leaving it out on display when not using it inside me (post dishwashing or boiling, obviously).
I tried, I did. I really wanted to wait to try it out with Q…but things have been so crazy busy with moving, and trying to unpack, and now she’s started her job and is work 9-10 hours days. And I’m home alone, and horny. What’s a poor little femme to do, with such an exciting looking toy just sitting on the coffee table, waiting to be tried out?
My thoughts exactly.
One thing I love about glass is that you hardly need ANY lube – just a dollop will really get you going, and unlike some materials, it doesn’t absorb any, so you don’t really need to re-apply. One dollop applied, and in to me it slid.
I had wondered about the shape – most intertables I like have a curve, or a nubbin, or SOMETHING other than a straight line. However, I loved it. Really. The size was perfect (I’m imagining that I’d like the large too, but it would be a much tighter fit, so keep that in mind), and the ribs on it felt great, both stationary, and as I slid it in and out of me. The weight felt wonderful…I love doing my kegel exercises with heavy toys inside of me – it feels AH MAY ZING, and it really gives your cunt a super duper work out. Add in a little hitachi action, and I was off in la la land, far past the ability to count my orgasms.
Because of the base, this can also be used in your butt (but design wise, I’d opt for a glass plug instead probably…depends on your anus’s palette). To clean, wash with soap and water…but to sterilize (and be able to share your toy), boil it for 3 minutes, wash it on the top shelf of the dishwasher with no soap, or wipe it down with a 10% bleach solution.
Overall, 5 stars for this glass god. It’s actually, despite the more linear shape, my favorite glass toy I own…it’s definitely getting a spot in the nightstand!
Want one of these bad boys as much as I did? Click here to get yours hands on your very own!
-Essin’ Em
2 commentsPleasurists #51
via slutsoft
Pleasurists is a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #50? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #52? Submit it here before Sunday November 1st at 11:59pm PDT. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.
Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.
- Blogiversary blowout: oodles of sex toys Deadline: October 27, 2009 @ 11:59 p.m. PST.
- They say it’s your birthday! November 8th @ midnight Central.
- Happy Blogiversary to Me Contest! November 18th.
Madame Editrix
Editor’s Pick
- Liberator Axis by Nadia West
And when you’re not getting it on, you can use it as a back support as you sit up in bed. I think there’s many uses I can come up with for the axis, it’s just a question of creativity and time.
Note: Not only do I think this review is wonderfully succinct and has a great comparison of the Axis and Wedge (something I’ve been wondering about) but I couldn’t help but love the suggestion above as I’m currently lounging against a Whirl and using a Ramp as a laptop table.
On to the reviews…
Vibrators
- Fairy Mini Mini Wand by Epiphora
- LELO Gigi by Undressed Reviews
- Ophoria’s Finger Vibe by Domina Doll
- Zen Tranquility Vibe by Domina Doll
Dildos
- Tantus Sire by Darling Dove
- Tentacle by True Pleasures
- LELO Ella by Darling Dove
- Double Head Fantasy Deluxe by Carrie Ann
- Doc Johnson Large Big Stuff by Melen’s Rayne
- Obama by Domina Doll
Toys for Cocks
Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.
- Boy Butter by Lucius Scribbens
- Sliquid Organics O Gel by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
- System JO Flavored Lube by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
- Intimate Organics Energizing Body Souffle by Melen’s Rayne
- Babeland Body Essentials Kit by Melen’s Rayne
- Tantric Candle by Domina Doll
- Babeland Natural Organic Lube and Pleasure Essentials Kit by Domina Doll
- Flower Balm by Domina Doll
- AloeCadabra Organic Lubricant by Sexorcism
BDSM/Fetish
- Kookie Riding Crop by Melen’s Rayne
- Kookie Riding Crop by Beautiful Dreamer
- Spartacus Bell Clit Clamp by Curvaceous Dee
Adult Books/Games
- A Smart Girl’s Guide to Porn by Toygirl
- The Anal Sex Position Guide by Undressed Reviews
- Truth or Dare: A Game of Passion by Melen’s Rayne
Adult Movies/Porn
- Champion by Kyle Jones
- My Sister’s Lover: A Tale of Interracial Love by J.D. Bauchery
- From Dusk ‘Till Porn by FrzKey
- Beef Jerky: Tim Collins by The Porn Librarian
- NoFauxx Roulette – Scene 3 by J.D. Bauchery
- Scary Sex Movie by FrzKey
- Seven Minutes in Heaven: Coming Out by Domina Doll
Sex Furniture
Storage
Lingerie
Miscellaneous
- Stripteuse Kit by Shay
- Fun Factory Smart Balls by Melen’s Rayne
- P-Style by Essin’ Em
- Silky Sheets Spring Rain by Melen’s Rayne
