Sexuality Happens

Hey everyone!

Many people have ask me for suggestions for great ideas/suggestions for sexy gifts to friends, family and loved ones this holiday season. Here are some of my favorites that I recommend to you.

I’ve really gotten into sensual massage with soy wax massage candles. I particularly LOVE the Jimmy Jane Afterglow massage candles or Afterglow Sampler Set. Babeland also offer the candle together with the stone massager as a perfect massage kit:

Then of course, there is my all time favorite bedroom accessory, the Fascinator Throe by Liberator. This is a beautiful blanket (lots of color and pattern option) that is soft on one side, smooth on the other…and has a waterproof layer in the middle. What does this mean? Ejaculation, lube, food, sweat, wax, etc doesn’t make it through to your sheets/carpet/couch/wherever you have sex. And then it’s washable and tumble try. FREAKING BRILLIANT! I also love my Liberator Scoop as far as sex furniture goes.

Let’s talk vibrators. I love the Hitachi Magic Wand for people who like power, the Fun Factory Layaspot for first time vibrator users and/or people who want to share, the Lelo Gigi and the JeJoue G-Ki for perfect G-spot stimulation, the Lelo Ina for a rabbit style toy, and the Lelo Siri for a rechargeable clitoral vibe.

For dildos, I think the Tantus Vamp is still pretty popular, what with Twilight coming out. Anything by Vixen Creations is great, but I know that the HUGE Outlaw will be respected by some while other prefer the pretty sparkles of the Champlette. I know that the Njoy Eleven is sure on my holiday wish list! Anyone want to get it for me? And don’t forget to add in a super comfy harness like the Spareparts Joque to help your gift-ee strap it on!

Looking for someone who is in to anal? A Crystal Delights Plug to help them bling their bottom will be appreciated, as would any of the very many Njoy line of butt toys (Fun wand is great for anal AND g-spot). Just starting out? Try the Fun Factory Flexi Felix beads or the Ryder butt plug by Tantus.

For the penis possesser on your list, the Fleshlight is a must have for every penis. Does your lover/friend like prostate stimulation? Aneros prostate stimulator is a GREAT toy for the backdoor.. Don’t forget fabulous cock rings like those by Lelo Tor and the C-Ring from Tantus!

Don’t forget to add lube to all toy gifts! Water based lube is compatible with everything; I recommend Sliquid Organics or Pink Water for everything, but Maximus is PERFECT for anal, fisting, jacking off and more. If you’re not playing with toys, get your lover/friend/family member some silicone lube; Pjur Bodyglide and Gun Oil are the best! As far as stimulation gels, Sliquid’s Stimulation O Gel is my favorite!

Gifting to someone on the kinkier side? Try a nice set of restraints, a flogger color coordinated to their other toys, or maybe a sassy paddle to get them going. Stockroom is the place to go for all your kinky gift needs!

Have a nerdy type on your list? How about Ceiling Cat boyshorts, or even “I Can Haz Buttsecks” panties?

Want to help someone help themselves? I’d suggest a book or DVD.

Opening Up is wonderful for people looking at consensual non-monogamy.

The Guide to Getting It On is the end all, be all, general overview of all types of sexuality book.

I <3 Female Orgasm is a great gift for college age women looking to explore a bit of female orgasm.

Rope books like Midori’s Guide to Japanese Rope Bondage or Two Knotty Boys Show You The Ropes are fabulous as well.

Looking for porn? Try anything from Reel Queer Productions, or Heartcore Productions. Want something for someone who spends lots of time online? How about a membership to the Crash Pad Series or Good Dyke Porn? As far as educational stuff goes, Tristan Taormino makes a bunch of awesome sex ed guides that have info AND hot sex scenes!

Hope this has helped! Sexy and sensual gifts are almost always welcome, so it’s hard to go wrong, especially when you shop the retailers I’ve linked to. I’m also happy to recommend based on individual circumstances. Just email me at essinem at gmail dot com!

-Essin’ Em

The middle of this month celebrates my FOURTH year of blogging about sex, sexuality, erotica, gender, identity, nudity, rights, politics, sex toys, silly things, my relationships, sex tips, others’ relationships, and more. Yes, the Sex Blogger Calendar says three- that’s a mistake. It’s been four full years folks.

And what better way to celebrate than with some EPIC giveaways…and I’m talking EPIC. I’ve gotten almost a twenty companies that I’ve worked with over the past four years (or am working with now/in the near future) to donate items for this contest, and from porn to sex toys to accessories, I promise that these prizes are AWESOME!

What can you win?

We start with a gift from HotMoviesForHer.com, a female-run porn site that was the start of my career in the more “adult” industry. What are they offering? TWO 100 minutes packages of porn. That’s a LOT of minutes of porn!

Fascinations, who employes me as their residential sex educator, has been kind enough to offer up a $100 gift card, which is enough to get either a Pure Wand…or a Lelo Siri…or a whole bunch of other awesome sex toys!

Pink and White, whom I love dearly, is offering a Two Month, Level Two memberships to CrashPadSeries.com (I’m on it!) and a Two Months, Level One membership to their new gay boy site, HeavenlySpire.com.

NoFauxxx, the awesome queer porn company run by Courtney Trouble, is putting up a FULL YEAR’s membership to NoFauxxx.com. I’m also on here!

Babeland, one of the first sex positive toys stores and educational places is offering a Mini Morgasm kit — complete with their new book Moregasm, as well as a Fukoku vibrator, a massage candle, Babelicious lube and a Sonic cock ring!

Crystal Delights, creators of those beautiful new crystal plugs (and so to be released wands) is giving me a beautiful Champange crystal butt plug for this!

Good Vibrations, a feminist and sex positive store with shops in CA and MA, and a sex toy website, is donating not one, not two, but THREE rabbit pearl vibrators (made of vinyl)!

NippleCharms.com is offering ONE set off non-piercing needed Nipple Rings, as well as TWO stick on Bindi Charms.

Trannywood Pictures, hot guy on guy porn (with both cis and trans men) is giving away a copy of their BRAND NEW film, Trannywood Gone Wild!

MyPleasure.com is offering up a beautiful vibrator from the Vida line; the Lussuria. It’s supposed to be pretty awesome!

SexToy.com and the lovely Domina Doll are putting together a special giveaway pack for this contest. I have no idea what is inside, but I know it’ll be awesome!

Liberator, the make of amazing sex furniture is thowing a Jaz into the ring. Heck, *I* don’t even have one of these!

More porn from Early to Bed – a rocking feminist sex toy store in Chicago! They’re giving away Special Delivery, a locally made dyke porno…I want to see it!

Also donating a set of rocking Nipple Clamps is the fabulous feminist store Our Enigma in Salem, Oregon!

We’ve got a lovely donation from the Kama Sutra Closet, who is kind enough to provide a Shiri Zinn RED Ceramic dildo to give away! 

Can’t leave out one of my favorite toy makers, the wonderful Vixen Creations. They’ve offered up TWO TOYS! One Caramel Tex and one Purple Johnny. Hurray!

Aloha from Maui Kink, who as graciously given me 3 Toy Bag Guides (Playing with Taboo by Mollena Williams, Clips and Clamps by Jack Rinella and Canes and Caning by Janet Hardy) AND 2 x 15ft lengths of Natural Hemp Rope with Shears

This just in: Lelo is putting in a pair of their silky and smooth Etherea Cuffs, from their brand new accessories line!

Another last minute addition! Stockroom, that fabulous kink site, has thrown a pair of cuffs, and a beautiful flogger into the ring!

Another set of awesome items is dontated from Je Joue — a Sasi and a G-Ki! Each of these vibrators is amazing!

Instead of choosing just one winner for all of this, or trying to make packages, etc, I’m going to just use the random number generator to choose a winner for each item. If someone enters a lot in various ways, they may win multiple items. This way, I can pass on the sex-tastic love to as many people as possible! So there could be 20 winners, or even more!

How do you enter? The contest goes through October 31st (11:59pm PDT). There are lots and lots of ways to enter! For each entry, please post a comment below with a link to it (or your twitter name, FB name, FetLife name, etc), as I’ll be using a random generator to choose the winners. If you already follow/friend/fan me, just post below a comment with the name you use. Free shipping is included for  US winners only (obviously a moot point for the porn memberships/minutes) — international shipping must be paid by the winner.

1. MANDATORY: Please comment here with the top three items above that you’d like to win most! (1 Entry)

2. Become an Essin’ Em fan on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/EssinEm. (1 Entry)

3. Comment on my Essin’ Em fan page. (1 entry per day)

4. Follow me on Twitter. (1 entry)

5. Tweet about this contest on twitter — must include my @ name and a link here. (1 entry per day)

6. Friend me on FetLife. (1 entry)

7. Update your status on FetLife with a link to this page. (1 entry per day)

8. Write a blog post about this contest (5 entries, only one per person).

9. Visit the above sponsors’ sites and tell me what your favorite thing that they sell (besides what they’re giving away) is. (1 entry per sponsor, total).

10. Donate to my paypal, buy me something off my amazon wishlist, send me a present, etc (15 entries, and my eternal gratitude).

Contest begins now, so get started, and don’t forget, there are so many ways to enter, so get going!

-Essin’ Em

This, my dear readers, is my newest sex toy. It’s a glass dildo by Ruby Glass, also known…as the VORTEX glass dildo. I just really like saying Vortex. Particularly as Q and I are headed to Sedona today, and they are all about these magical vortexes that they have there which are also known as lay lines that come together, and do magical things.

Is this a magical vortex? Well, let’s get the stats first. It, like most (if not all) glass dildos is made of glass. Not, say, the type of glad you’d drink from, or even a window pane, but some pretty hard core glass. I’ve only ever once broken a glass dildo, and it fell from the top of a dresser onto a cement floor— only one small piece broke off. Ergo, they are pretty hardy, and vagina (and butt, if they have flanged bases, like this one) friendly. The Vortex was no exception. A nice thing about glass toys is that they’re compatible with water-based lube (like all toys), but also silicone lube, which I love, and most toys can’t deal with.

As far as packaging, I was NOT impressed with the bag it came in. Most glass toys come in luxurious velvet bags, some of which are plush, but even if not, they are just nice velour and good for storing the toys so they don’t clink and chip. Sadly, the Vortex came in a weird bag that felt almost like felted plastic, or something like that. I was very much underwhelmed.

As far as cleaning glass, you can always wipe it down with soap and warm water, but it’s 100% sterilizable; you can boil it (3-5 minutes), run it through the dishwasher (top shelf) or wipe it down with a 10% bleach solution. Perfect for sharing with friends, or using both anally AND vaginally.

Let’s talk toy: the Vortex is very very pretty. It’s clear glass interspersed with black, white and green lines. I could have done without the green, but even so, it’s a beautiful glass dildo, hands down. Its design isn’t bad at all; it feels quite good sliding in and out. I was hoping for a little more G-spot action from the shape, but I didn’t really get what I was looking for. On the other hand, it just felt really good, smooth, and it has a base, so I’m pretty sure it would feel good for anal stimulation and play as well.

I love glass toys; putting them in ice water to cool them down, or warm water, to heat them up. I love how they feel sliding in and out, and how beautiful they truly are. I wish the Vortex had been a bit more G-spot magical for me, and had come with a nice pouch, but that aside, it’s a pretty rocking toy. 3.5 stars (out of 5) from me.

All in all, this is a pretty good beginner or middle of the road glass toy, and definitely a beautiful one. Click here to get your very own Vortex glass dildo. Thanks SexToy.com!

-Essin’ Em

You all know how much I love lube. Lube is very important to me, and when I teach, lube is always involved. Have you read my lowdown on lube yet? If not, do it.

One thing I’m always looking out for is glycerin free and paraben free lubes, because a lot of people have sensitivities to these ingredients.  I never did before, but lately, it’s been more of an issue.  Glycerin-free lube is much more available now, water-based lubes are compatible with all sex toys, and it’s around the same price as lube with glycerin, so why not try it out.

I was sent Sliquid Organics Lube to test out, and I was really excited, but a little nervous too. The last organic lube I tried out have vegetable glycerin in it, which resulted in my first and second ever yeast infections. However, this organic lube IS glycerin free and paraben free, so it was worth a try.

Upon opening it, I did the tests I always do; smell and taste. Given that it is made out of all natural/organic botanicals, I expected there to be at least a smell OR a taste, but there were neither, surprising both me and Q.

As far as water based lubes go, it wasn’t my favorite; that spot still belongs to Maximus. However, compared to other organic water based lubes (like the Organic Naked lube from Babeland), this Sliquid Organic lube is pretty awesome. It’s nice and gooey, has a pourable click-top bottle, as compared to the screw top bottles of some other lubes that tend to get really annoying, and it it had a pretty good lasting time before it got too sticky. Like all water based lubes, when it started to get sticky, water reactivated it just fine.

Unlike the long term results of the Organic lube from Babeland, neither Q nor I have ended up with a yeast infection, which makes it much more of a success. While neither of us have much of glycerin sensitivity or issues with parabens, this is a great lube for anyone who does, as well as anyone looking for a vegan lube (Good Clean Love is NOT vegan), or an organic lube.  Plus, it’s a cute, classy bottle, it travels well, and has easy clean up. My favorite organic lubricant is Sliquid Organics.  4 out of 5 stars.

-Essin’ Em

Click here to get your own bottle of Sliquid Organics.

To add to my current collection of sex toys, I now have my very first Ophoria toy ever; the Beyond 1 G-Spot Vibe.

Who is Ophoria? They are a company who has been around a little over a year, who happens to make toys only made out of 100% medical grade silicone.  As far as “luxury” value, I’d put them a step below Lelo, whose rechargable body friendly toys are really challenged by none, but way above any of the main manufacturers. They make good, solid, body safe, and fairly affordable toys, including both dildos and vibes.

Where to begin? I was a little nervous, since Hey Epiphora had recently reviewed the Beyond 1, and found it lacking.  However, I, as always, was willing to try it out, regardless.

The packaging? Stunning. I know people get all bored when packaging is discussed, but let me tell you, it was beautiful. First, the shipment box of cardboard. Then the inner box, with the logo and embossed bubbles.  You could have stuck a cheap ass Cal Exotics toy in there and I would have still at least given it a look because the packaging was smoooooth. Once you open THAT, there is a black box of good quality you can use to store it, with the toy packaged in foam, and a storage bag and batteries underneath. A) Yes, it came with batteries (thank you!) and B) A nice storage bag to keep it lint free. I’m glad companies are finally listening to people’s feedback.

It also has a 1 year warranty (yay!), and 9 vibration modes. The first three are your average low, medium and high, and then it gets into the crazy patterns. I literally had the instruction booklet by my bed to help me figure them out. Are they better than the regular mode? Perhaps, but we tend to just prefer the regular three anyways.

We had a similar problem to Epiphora regarding the handle. While Q did ok if she was using it to masturbate, it made it very difficult to hold on to fuck someone.  Once lube (water based only of course) entered the picture, it was damn near impossible. Even without lube, it hurt my hands to hold it for any period of time.  Plus, the angle had to be very specific, or else it hurt, and that angle is hard to keep up when you’re fucking someone, your hands are cramping up, and you are holding onto the toy for dear life.

That said, it makes a good masturbation toy you if you like vibrating insertables. Mine is fairly quite (not whisper, but definitely not loud), and it packs a good deal of power for two AAA batteries.   If you’re looking for vibrating G-spot play by yourself, I’d suggest this (or the Gigi!). I do want to try the Beyond 3 though – it has a better handle, and is a dildo, so may be better for active fucking.

4 stars for solo play, 3 stars for partner play (out of 5).

Click here to get your own G-spot vibe.

-Essin’ Em

I like pretty. You know this, I know this, the whole world knows this. I’m really into matching things; red, black, white and animal print. Now, granted, I have some toys that fall outside this color scheme. When people send me free stuff, all I ask is that’s not pink; if it’s free, I know I can’t really be choosy. So I have a turquoise Form 6, and a purple Fun Factory Curve, and an orange Ina.  In the case of the Ina, they only make it in bright colors! 

However, these cuffs? They’re perfect. They are beautiful wrist restraints made in black with red scalloped edges. Not only that, but they have matching ankle restraints (and collars!). How cool is that? I’m all about looking sexy through color/style coordination, and Stockroom (who makes these) really knows how to make a submissive/bottom look sleek, sexy and sassy.

Let’s talk about the cuffs themselves.  I have a lot of kink/fetish products, but these are some of my favorites. They are absolutely goregous, fit a variety of wrist sizes (yay for fat friendly items), and just look stunning on wrists; mine, Q’s, or anyone elses. Plus, they are lined with fleece, to keep from rubbing and add a little comfort during play, if that’s your thing.

Now, Q and I have another pair of fleece lined cuffs we’ve used before, but they leave black marks on her wrists post sex because she sweats (I’m doing a lot to her — you’d sweat a lot too!) and then the dye comes off. Not a problem with these cuffs. They’re obviously VERY good quality, so no dye issues. However, they’re also still pretty affordable (get both wrist and ankle restraints for under $100!), which I love. I hate the concept that you have to be super rich to get a ton of kink toys.

What can you do with them? Let’s see. I put them on her, then tied her wrists together all tight and such with bondage rope and teased her with a variety of sex toys. Later, I attached the cuffs with snap hooks to my lovely Under the Bed Restraint System, cause their “restraints” suck, but the concept is brilliant, so I just use nice cuffs with it, and it makes it a much better, super awesome and totally not as pervy as the rest of my house set up.

I liked them a lot, and am considering getting the ankle ones as well, for a complete and beautiful set. Q liked them because they were comfortable, looked good, and could be worn for a long period of time.  We were both very impressed, and I’d give these lovely and affordable cuffs 5 stars (out of 5)!

Click here to get pretty wrist restraints, and click here to get pretty ankle restraints!

Behold, I have rope. More specifically, Japanese Bondage Rope, thanks to the folks at SexToy.com.

Why rope? Well, as we all know, I’ve always loved stuff of a kinker variety, and of all the BDSM/Fetish toys I’ve tried, I’ve never really done rope. Yes, I’ve review a few rope bondage “how-to” books like Two Knotty Boys Showing You the Ropes and Midori’s The Seductive Art of Japanese Rope Bondage. I’ve tied up, I’ve even been suspended a time or two back in Denver…but honestly, rope has never held much of an allure for me.  I like things that get stuff going quickly (like pretty restraints) so that it is both fast and easy to get someone (usually Q) restrained, and then just as fast and easy to get them undone at the end.

But I like the look of rope in some of the decorative ways, and I really like that this rope is already black, so it matches everything I have, no dying needed. Plus, I recently attend Lee Harrington’s basic ropes class at Fascinations. And it was cool. And I wanted to learn more about ropes and playing with them, and all that jazz.

So while I usually review sex toys, this week, I’m reviewing rope.

The rope itself isn’t hemp or nylon and anything shiny and fancy like rope enthusiasts tend to love. That’s ok; I’m a rope newbie, and I’m not willing to spend $10 a foot for some rope of fancy-ness before I figure out if I even like the damn stuff.

It’s 32 feet long, which seems like an awkward number, since most of the rope books I’ve read require lengths of 10, 15, 25, 50 feet, etc. I haven’t seen a lot of “32 feet” or “16 feet” lengths required. So basically, I wish it had been 50 feet, so I could cut it into more useful and more managable lengths of rope. However, better 32 feet than some of the cheap-o rope I’ve seen for sale that is all of 8 or 10 feet, with which you can do very little.

My other problem was that the ends were fraying. Now, with my nylon rope, I just burn the ends, voila.  However, with natural fibers like cotton, it’ll just light up on fire. There is some special way to end ropes by wrapping string around them, but you know me; when it comes to bondage, I’m more of an instant gratification kind of gal.  Ergo, I just tied really small knots. Did this make it a little more difficult to actually use the rope? Yes. But it was easier and quicker and I just got the damn thing done.

As far as using the rope, I made some pretty gauntlets on my arm, and then I used it for quick bondage; speed cuffs, tying Q’s wrist restraints together, and those kind of things.

The rope is great beginner rope. Obviously, it’s nothing amazing, and so if you’re going to be a rope slut, I might go invest in some high quality, frou frou stuff. However, for someone just starting in? This rope is brilliant, it comes in black, purple or red, which I LOVE, and it’s a decent amount. I’d give it 3.5, or maybe even 4 stars, out of 5.

Click here to get your own length of rope!

In case you forgot about it, last week was the end of my glass butt plug contest. I had tons and tons of entries, both at the original post (in comments) and of course, on twitter. Thanks to everyone for entering this one!

The winner of the contest is Aida, who blogs over at Rainbows and Riding Crops and tweets as the Pledgemistress (currently locked, so I’m not linking).

If you didn’t win, SexToy.com has a ton of other awesome glass butt plugs and other rocking sex toys. Make sure you check them out to thank them.

Also, I’ll have another awesome contest in March.  I can’t give it all away yet, but it looks like it’ll involves some awesome porn. And I mean, really, who doesn’t love good porn?

Thanks for entering, and hope to see you back!

-Essin’ Em

Hey all!

It’s been a while since I’ve had a contest on here – my apologies! Luckily for you, SexToy.com has provided a rocking blue glass butt plug for a giveaway.  Now, as we know, I’m not the biggest butt person, but a lot of you have been asking for more anal giveaway prizes, so here you go.  Tristan, this one is in honor of you, oh anal loving goddess!

What is it? If you win, you get this lovely blue glass plug (if you’re out of the states, you must pay shipping):

How can YOU win this very awesome plug (which, by the way, I think looks bigger in person than the picture does)?

Three ways! And yes, that means you can enter THRICE!

1) Tweet this phrase on twitter: “Holy moly! @EssinEm is giving away some butt love. http://essin-em.com/2010/01/glass-plug-contest. RT to enter and win!”

2) Become a fan of me on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/EssinEm, and then invite your friends by posting about the contest on your page, linking to my fan page (hint: you can use the @ trick, or put my fan page URL in it).

3) Leave a comment here about why you want to win a buttastic prize.

And I love you so much, I’ll even through some lube in there as well, so you get going as soon as you get it.

Deadline: Feb 14th, 11:59pm MST.

Three ways to enter, all super easy. Tell your friends, tell your family, tell your lovers.

New to anal? Check out my anal basics post here.

-Essin’ Em

I love love love sex toys made out of various materials.  I own wood, glass, steel, ceramic, aluminum, granite, silicone and more. I’m still lusting after marble (if you want to help me out here, drop me a line and we’ll talk).  Ergo, I was quite excited when one of the sex toy companies I review for offered to give me a new ceramic dildo to test out.

This toy (the Lovemoiselle Aveline) is geared towards G-spot stimulation and exploration, or so it says.  Because it’s ceramic, it IS sterilizable, meaning you can boil it (3-5 minutes), dishwash it (top shelf, no soap) or wipe it down with a 10% bleach solution in order to share it.  Otherwise, soap and warm water will do fine.  As a note, I believe this product is hollow, unlike the other ceramic dildo I have…I’m not sure if that changes how you clean it in general. I just popped out the seal at the bottom, and boiled the ceramic part.  Why it is hollow, I have no idea, but I don’t like it.  It’s not as safe, in my mind, as a solid ceramic piece.

I enlisted Q to help me on reviewing this one. When we started dating/fucking, she only like soft (read: silicone) toys.  Since then, her favorite toy has become the Tantus Motion, and she also really loves a G-spot geared glass toy we have. Ergo, I thought she’d be the perfect candidate.

Verdict? She does in face like this toy, but not nearly as much as the glass or Tantus one. She didn’t seem to like the feeling of the material as much, both of us were annoyed by how light it was (compared to other ceramic toys, as well as glass and metal), and the curve didn’t fit either of us just right.  That said, it’s still a pretty good toy. If you don’t like a LOT of curve in your G-spot toys, this might be a happy medium between a super curved one and a straight one.  Also, I’ve met a lot of people that DON’T like the weight that is present in most ceramic, glass and metal toys. Because it’s hollow, this toy is in face much lighter, so that make work perfectly for anyone looking for something more…feathery light. It IS a nice dildo.

It is a very pretty toy (glad mine was blue and not pink!), and could totally be left out as an artistic piece.  We like it, but not enough to keep it in the night stand.  However, it does make the FYN Toy Case, and has not yet been shunted to the FYN Rolling Toy Trunk. 3.5 stars, out of 5.

Click here to get your own beautiful, ceramic dildo.

-Essin’ Em